I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
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