Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I think I sprained my soul last night
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
