We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
