well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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