i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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