There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
