you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Randomize
