remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
