She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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