I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Randomize
