I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
