your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
