if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
