Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
