Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
