so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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