Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
