How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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