you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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