road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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