Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
