16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
