If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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