I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
