Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
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