Porn is love you can see.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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