Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Randomize
