her vagine was all disorganized.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Randomize
