Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
