Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Randomize
