You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
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