she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
