you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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