Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
