I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
