One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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