it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
