Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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