Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
