my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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