what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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