As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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