what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
My life is pants optional.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
