I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
