She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
