Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
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