i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Randomize
