never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
