Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
