yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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